The Basics of Prayer
Estimated Reading Time: 8-10 minutes
Introduction
My sister and I were not fans of saying grace before dinner growing up. Every night, we eagerly awaited the moments when we could shove forkfuls of food into our mouths, and the only thing between us and that delicious, glorious moment was saying grace. My parents always had one of us bless the food—we took turns every other night. And while I was a dutiful little daughter who prayed a sweet, little prayer, my sister always defaulted to the classic:
God is great; God is good. Let us thank Him for our food. By His hands, we all our fed. Thank you for our daily bread. Amen.
Except she would say it as fast as she could, in nearly all one breath: goddishgraygodisgodlettucethankimforourfoodbowhisandsweallarefedhthankyouforourdailybreadamen.
My parents would glance at each other in amusement each time; meanwhile, my sister and I would go ham at our plates.
Why did we have to pray? I used to wonder. Why couldn’t we just sit and eat our food like normal families?
It’s a fair question, and not just for children. Why do we pray? Those of us who are atheists might suggest it’s just a psychological way for humans to feel better about reality, while those of us who are agnostic might suggest that they hope someone “up there” might hear. However, those of us who are Christians often say pray because God invites us to spend time with Him and this is our way of realigning ourselves with Him every day.
In Mark 1:35, it reads: “And rising very early in the morning, while it was still dark, [Jesus] departed and went out to a desolate place, and there he prayed” (ESV).
Jesus did so much during His three years of ministry, and we can presume that the work we know He did was only limited by the amount of paper available to write on at the time. Yet, the authors of the gospels still mentioned that he prayed over twenty times. Twenty! So if the Son of Man prays, obviously it’s important and we should too.
So why pray?
The answer is hidden in the Bible. The first prayers in the Bible occur in Genesis 4:26:
“Seth also had a son, and he named him Enosh. At that time people began to call on the name of the Lord.”
Before this God had always initiated conversation, but in this verse, we can see that we pray to converse with God. And because our bodies are temples for the Holy Spirit living inside us, we can commune with God wherever and whenever.
Types of Prayer
I don’t know about you, but I have a tendency to ask God for what I need, while forgetting to thank Him for what I have. I “need God more” when I’m lacking than when I’m plentiful. Or sometimes, I ask God to help me make a big decision, but I’ve already made up my mind what I’m going to do and am just seeking validation.
My prayers sometimes sound like: Dear God, please help me with this situation cause I want you to, or hey God, please bless what I already intend to do.
However, we see throughout the gospels that Jesus prayed all the times and not just as prayers of request. Jesus prayed not only to ask from God, but also to abide with God.
A few months ago, Pastor Stephen encouraged us to look to Jesus as our model for prayer, and Pastor David only expanded our understanding of that last week.
So let’s boil it down: According to Pastors Stephen and David, we can organize and identify three types of prayer that exist in the Bible (though, of course, there is no limit to the ways you can organize types of prayer).
One: Asking Prayer
Okay, I know it sounds absurd to say this because I literally just came at prayers of request so hard, but there is nothing wrong with asking God for anything ever.
Matthew 7:7 says, “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find.” God wants to hear our hopes and longings. He wants to give us what we want, because He loves us and wants us to be happy.
Though notably, continuing the metaphor of a father, God doesn’t always give us what we want just because we ask for it. Sometimes a parent knows that what their child wants is not beneficial to their health, and so the answer is “no”, or “wait until you’re more mature”.
You see, prayer is an opportunity for us and others in our lives to see the goodness of God because He does whatever He can to show us He loves us.
We must be careful not to only pray Asking Prayers though; therein is where the trouble often lies. Asking Prayers without Abiding Prayers and Aligning Prayers can and usually do lead to frustration and anger.
Two: Abiding Prayer
We must fill our prayer lives with more than just asking God for things. He is not just our vending machine; God is our Creator and Sustainer. He loves us and cares for us. And He longs for a relationship with us, but allows us to decide if that’s what we want for ourselves.
Prayer is our way of responding to the Lord’s invitation. In Abiding Prayer, we choose to spend time with God for no other reason than wanting to be in His presence. In Abiding Prayer, we delight in knowing our Abba and delight that Abba knows us too.
Mother Teresa once shared, “I shall keep the silence of my heart with greater care, so that in the silence of my heart I hear His words of comfort, and from the fullness of my heart I comfort Jesus in the distressing disguise of the poor. For in the silence and purity of the heart God speaks.”
For in a silence and purity of the heart God speaks.
Three: Aligning Prayer
The night before Jesus was imprisoned by the Roman soldiers, he went up to the Mount of Olives to pray. The Bible says that Jesus withdrew from his disciples and prayed so earnestly that “his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground” (Luke 22:44). That’s some intense prayer right there. And what was he praying?
“Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.” (Verse 42)
In the face of unjust imprisonment, torture, and death, Jesus prayed for God’s will to rein. And not just “Your will Your way,” but also “God, where you send me is where I will go.” That is because He knew God had a greater plan, a better one, and that God wins in the end.
And we can know this too. Proverbs 3:5-6 reads, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”
Teach Us How to Pray
This past year, I celebrated Easter at my partner’s parents’ house for the first time and at the table, his parents agreed I should be the one to say grace, because I lead a Bible study. Everyone’s head swiveled and seven pairs of eyes, both Christian and Atheist, were suddenly on me. My face got hot and my throat suddenly felt dry.
“M— M— Me? I’m saying grace?” I rasped.
Every introvert’s worst nightmare is to be called out in a social setting, but to be called out to pray? Unimaginable. Public speaking isn’t the top ten most common fears in the world because it’s easy.
So we get why we should pray, but how should we pray? What should we say? What do we do if we don’t know what to say or have no words at all?
The disciples had the same question, and in Luke 11:4, they posed it to Jesus:
It happened that while Jesus was praying in a certain place, when He had finished, one of His disciples said to Him, ‘Lord, teach us to pray, just as John also taught his disciples.’ And He said to them, ‘When you pray, say:
Father, hallowed be Your name.
Your kingdom come.Give us each day our daily bread.
And forgive us our sins,
For we ourselves also forgive everyone who is indebted to us.
And do not lead us into temptation.’
When we come to God, we don’t have to put on airs or pretend we are someone we’re not. God knows the conditions of our hearts (Luke 16:15). Instead, he invites us to spend time with Him. It’s that simple.
What to Pray when You Don’t Know What to Say
Here are a few practical tips for how to pray when you don’t know what to say:
Pray whatever you got
Pray your wells will be filled and your walls will be broken
Pray with your trusted community
Try different forms of prayer, such as liturgies, reading a psalm, memorization, breath prayers, and journaling for example.
You are not the first person to not know what to pray or how to say it. And you are not the first one to experience what you are feeling. Find encouragement in knowing that many Christians have walked before you, and experiences some of the same or similar struggles you are going through now. So, If you don’t know what to say, try reciting a prayer someone else once said. They may have put your feelings into words so now you don’t have to.
How to Pray When You’re Burnt Out
If you’re lonely, tell Him you’re lonely. If you feel abandoned, tell Him so. And in your times of weakness, know He will be your strength.
In the Bible when David was a young man, he ran away from home and lived in the woods. This wasn’t some act of teenage rebellion; no, David’s father-in-law Saul was trying to kill him. David was in the run for years. Imagine the trauma your mind and body would experience, constantly living in fight-or-flight mode.
During this time, David writes many poems and songs—prayers in their own right—and he cries out to the Lord in anguish and despair that he would never stop running, but also rejoicing that God was always good and would protect him. 1 Samuel 20-2 Samuel 2 outlines much his time in the wilderness, revealing war and violence, starvation, close calls with death and living off the kindness of others.
In Psalm 4:1:1, David prays, “Answer me when I call to you, / my righteous God. / Give me relief from my distress; / have mercy on me and hear my prayer.”
God will meet us where we invite him—in all our delights and our despairs, He will bring us peace and everlasting joy.
Closing Benediction
In Eph 3:17-19, it is written: “May Christ dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. Amen.”
