Find Your Tribe: 3 Types of Relationships Everyone Needs in Their Lives
As you look at the relationships in your life, who is closest to you? Who is in your inner circle?
According to Andrew Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, humans have five needs that, when met, promote a thriving life. Among these are physiological needs (food and shelter), security and safety needs (financial security and health/wellness), social needs (friendships and social circles), esteem needs (appreciation and respect), and self-actualization needs (personal growth).
While all five of these needs are essential in promoting a healthy, well-rounded life, a sense of belonging is the most important after survival and safety.
Benefits of Healthy Relationships
Relationships not only help us feel we belong, but they also have significant physical, mental, and emotional health benefits.
Engaging in healthy relationships has been known to decrease depression, illness, and BMI. They are the primary contributors to our mental health and emotional stability. And they are even essential to helping us achieve our life goals.
However, not just any relationship can attest to these benefits; the common factor here is how healthy our relationships are.
God’s Design for Healthy Relationships
Pastor and author Andy Stanley says it this way:
“Your friends will determine the direction and the quality of your life.”
The people we allow into our personal space will directly impact the quality of our lives, for better or worse. This is why God cares about those we are in relationship with.
God desires that you have people in your life who know you and are known by you. They are people who love you and are loved by you and challenge you while allowing you to challenge them in their own growth.
Healthy, God-given relationships promote intimacy and trust and are a living example of the faithfulness of God. So, with that in mind, how can we build our tribe?
Let's look at three kinds of relationships everyone should have.
3 People Everyone Needs in Their Tribe
1. Mentors to Follow
“As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.”
Proverbs 27:17, NIV
Every one of us needs mentors to follow.
We need people who will meet us right where we are in our spiritual journey and open our eyes to things we wouldn’t know otherwise.
We need the guidance of those who have overcome tough things and are ready to share their experiences with us.
We need encouragers who believe the best in us even when no one else sees it. This includes mentors who can correct us in love, not to tear us down but to build us up in our faith and make us better.
Do you have a mentor in your life?
2. Friends to Walk With
“Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as you are already doing.”
1 Thessalonians 5:11, NIV
Faith-filled friendships are those who will walk with us on this journey of life. Having peers going through similar circumstances who can celebrate us when we win (or struggle with us in the fight) is essential to encouraging our souls.
Every person needs people they can endure difficult things with while praising God’s goodness to strengthen one another’s faith.
Does your friendship circle share these qualities?
3. Disciples to Invest In
“Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts.”
Colossians 3:16, NIV
Not only do we need mentors and friends to journey alongside us, but we also must be intentional with our Christian relationships by discipling others.
We were created to be poured into by trusted people and also called to share our personal experiences, lessons, and knowledge with those who need it. In mentorship, we help others grow in their faith walks and hold a safe space for them to wrestle with things so they can move forward.
Who in your life are you encouraging and cheering on?
4 Keys to Having Mentors, Friends, and Disciples in Your Life
If you have these three examples of relationships in your life, would you take time to reach out to them and thank them for being a mentor, a trusted friend, and someone who allows you to be a part of their story?
If you are missing one or two of these components, can we encourage you not to settle for anything less than all three? Let’s look at how you can intentionally achieve the relationship goals God has for you.
1. Be in the Places Where the Right People Can be Found
If we want to have believing mentors, friends, and disciples in our lives, we’ve got to put ourselves in the right places. A great place to find that is within a church community.
If you don’t have a church home and are in NYC, we would love to save you a seat on Sunday at Liberty Church NYC.
2. Be Willing to Make the First Move
Meeting new people can be overwhelming, but it can change the trajectory of your life.
C.S. Lewis says, “Friendship…is born at the moment when one man says to another, ‘What! You too?’”
Take the initiative and ask a new friend to coffee. Invite people into the things you are doing, find common ground, and watch that friendship flourish.
3. Be the Person That Someone Else Needs
Friendship is a beautiful dance because, most of the time, God places us where we are because of what we can bring to another’s life. And who knows, you may just be the answer to their prayers!
So, how do we care for someone’s relational needs? Be interruptible. Sometimes, this looks like clearing an evening for coffee, or it may require answering your phone.
Leave enough margin in your life so that you can steward the relationships God has blessed you with.
4. Find Our Tribe in Christ
One of the most beautiful things about the Gospel is that Jesus came to break down all the barriers.
“For all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. If you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham’s seed, and heirs according to the promise.”
Galatians 3:27-29, NIV
The Gospel removes, among many things, the worldly standards of race, gender, and socioeconomic class so that together, we can find our identities and purpose in Christ. No matter who we are, nothing can separate us from the love of God, and because of that, we can find a tribe within His kingdom of believers.
In Christ, we find freedom in our identity to know and be known, to love and be loved, to challenge and be challenged, and to forgive and be forgiven.
Who will you invite into your tribe?
For more on finding your tribe, check out Pastor David Mazzella’s sermon, Relationship Goals: Find Your Tribe.
